Prelude to the Heart Doctor

 

Kyung-Yeon

9 May 1997

Yesterday was quite warm, nearly 70 degrees! The girls got out the swimming pool and all three were out there dipping their toes in it and squealing!

Last night we had our first confrontation. Kyung-Yeon decided not to go to bed when I said. She was pleasant about it, just brought her colors and coloring book out and sat next to me at the table. I told her it was time to sleep (using hand motions) and she looked outside at the still-light sky and said, “No.” I insisted gently, and she went, making a face at me.

When I went in to pray with the girls, she pretended to be asleep, but as I left she opened her eyes. She was angry.

This morning she came straight to me and hugged me for a long time, then hugged me again. I think that was the “I’m sorry.” Today we are back to being cheerful. On the way home from taking the kids to school, she fell asleep in the car. I guess I wasn’t wrong about her needing sleep.

We will try out helping in the classrooms today with an extra little person along.

 

12 May 1997

Here it is day seven already! We had a lovely weekend. The weather was delightful and the three girls played really well together. Garry went up to the Herringtons’ property to cut wood. We almost ran out this year. When he came back, he mowed the lawn (except the part under the pool) and I did the trimming and weeding.

Kyung-Yeon took a shower Saturday night, and then poured baby oil on her hair! So she looked just as greasy on Sunday morning as she did on Saturday afternoon. She went to Sunday School with Nicole, but refused to go with her for second hour, so I kept her with me. Her church manners are sorely lacking, but she lay down on the pew and went to sleep. When it was time for evening service, she was not happy about being back at the church, but she didn’t fight us about it, just let it be known that she didn’t like it.

Last night was very special. I got the best Mother’s Day gift! Nicole was baptized. After the service, many people commented to me about what a precious child she is and how articulate. I even had one request for a pre-arranged marriage with a son!

Her name sounds like Kyoung Yawn, so Garry and Amanda have started calling her “Yawny” and she seems to like it.

Tomorrow we go to Dr. Rittenhouse, the heart specialist. He will set up the date of the surgery, and we will be able to plan around that at last.

Today we go shopping. Kyung Yeon’s grandparents gave her $150 to spend while she is here and she has been anticipating this day. She even learned the English word “shopping”! I will take her to the great American shopping center, K-Mart!

 

13 May 1997

I took her to K-Mart and then Fred Meyers yesterday. She bought gifts for her family: kitchen towels for her mother, a tie for her father, matchbox cars for her little brother, and wallets for each of her grandparents. She bought wrapping paper and wrapped them all as soon as we got home. For herself she bought a Barbie and a change of clothes for her, a beach ball with Mickey on it, a hand-held electronic Cinderella game and batteries, and two pencils. As I drove the cart through the clothing section she said, “No, no, no, no…” the whole time.

Last night she finally got homesick. I knew it had to come. She was sad at bedtime and brought pictures of her family to me. We looked at them together and talked about them. Then we tried to call them, but they weren’t home (it was just after noon in Korea) and only her grandfather was at the family restaurant. She spoke to him and then he talked to me. He speaks excellent English. No one had given them our phone number, so they couldn’t call us! I gave it to him, and at 4:45 this morning he called us! Kyung Yeon’s mother wanted to talk to her. Garry told him we would awaken her if they wanted us to, but he said, “No, when would be a better time?”

Just as we got home from taking the girls to school this morning, the phone rang and it was her mother. That little sad face brightened up and then burst into tears! They talked for about 20 minutes and when she got off the phone, Kyung Yeon was back to her old cheerful self again. I hope they will call regularly!

Today we go to the heart specialist. The interpreter called yesterday and cancelled, so I had to quickly find another. The father of a third grade boy at Grace agreed to meet us at the Seattle office. His English is very broken, so I am a bit nervous, but I know God is in control.

Learning this Korean

[Part 4 of a series on the experience we had as foster parents.]
 

8 May 1997

We are well-pleased with our little Korean girl so far. She is unbelievably cheerful. She giggles at the slightest provocation. This morning her corn dog (yes, for breakfast - Koreans don't have any breakfast foods; they eat the same foods for all meals) anyway, her corn dog exploded in the microwave. She laughed and giggled the whole way through eating what was left of it. Now she has taken my broom outside and is sweeping off the porch where we cleaned the bird cage this morning. I would have left it there for the rain and birds to take it away. 

The doctors' visits yesterday were encouraging. They each found nothing of concern aside from the obvious heart difficulties, so the surgery can be scheduled promptly. Both the dentist and the pediatrician said that this is none too soon for her. 

Garry and I watcher her try to play outside with Nicole and Amanda. We realized how many times her parents must have done the same, with an ache over her inability to keep up. She tires out just walking to the mailbox and back with me, and must sit on the couch huffing for several minutes. But she doesn't whine or complain, just does what she must. She brings me her hands periodically and wants me to rub them, helping the circulation. They get so cold and swollen! It must hurt. 

One surprise yesterday was the discovery of large scars on her chest and back, down one side, indicating a previous surgery. Later I will probably find out what that was. I actually feel somewhat better, in that we are not receiving a perfect-looking little body and returning a scarred one. Her parents have been through this already. 

I have learned five new Korean words. I already knew that "on-yong" was hello and I can count to seven - hahna, duel, seth, ned, dahseth, yahseth, illgo. Yesterday I learned these:

    ooma - mom

    abba - dad

    mool - water

    ahnee - no, not

    yogi - here, there

    harmony - grandmother

    hangool - Korea

Amanda got citizen of the month yesterday! That is a big reward for her change in attitude this year at school. 

Nicole is on a bit of a down-swing right now. Possible explanations are hormones, illness, or the "last performance is over" blues. She did extremely well in her three parts in the last school performance on Friday and received many adult accolades this week. Another possibility is some angst over Kyung-Yeon. 

Garry needs another root canal. The next opening is in June. 

God is blessing and we are enjoying the benefits. Healing the Children wants to send me to Korea with Kyung-Yeon when she goes home. But the timing could be at the same time as my Grandma's 90th birthday, and I won't miss that for Korea. We will see how God works it all out. 

She's here!

 [Part 3 of a series on the experience we had as foster parents.]

6 May 1997

Kyung-Yeon is here! She is cute as a button, if you're into buttons. So far she seems cheerful, flexible, inquisitive, and outgoing. Min-Ok (our first Korean foster child) used to walk around our house picking things up to look at them; Kyung-Yeon does the same. 

We drove out to Sharon's house in Snohomish to pick her up. We pulled into the driveway just as they did. The interpreter didn't arrive for an hour after that, but we all got along fine without her. Kyung-Yeon understands some English, which is going to help a great deal. 

She is indeed turning blue, although it just looks like she is cold around the edges, the tip of her nose, the line of her lips, the ends of her fingers. She is a stocky-built child, just shorter than Amanda, but probably weighs 10 pounds more. 

She is fearful of the heart surgery - who wouldn't be? - but not resistant. 

Nicole and Amanda are playing with her - playdough, Legos, dolls, swinging. Amanda seems to be more attached to her than Nicole. Both girls admit that their fears are completely gone. 

Nervous Preparations

 

5 May 1997

It has been a difficult but rewarding day.

After I sent the girls off to school this morning, I went to work on the house. I thoroughly cleaned, with special focus on Amanda's room Mid-morning, as I was typing Garry's notes, the school called saying that Nicole wasn't feeling well.  No temp, but an upset tummy.

I picked her up from school and brought her home, and then we talked. She was fretting over Kyung Yeon's arrival, as I anticipated. 

Healing the Children called with the news that the media won't be at the airport. That was a relief. They still want to cover the story, so we will probably hear from them later. 

I worked on getting translators lined up for Wednesday's doctor appointments, but wasn't successful. Pray that someone will be able to interpret for the dental appointment in particular. It is the most vital one. 

Amanda came home from school and showed her usual signs of stress, too, so the three of us sat down together and talked seriously, working through the whole situation. We prayed for Kyung Yeon and her family, and Nicole cried a long time, in sympathy for her leaving her parents. 

By the time Garry got home, we were all doing better. Shortly after that, our friends the Herringtons drove up. Dave has had some chairs that were given to us, attempting to fix them. He said at the door that the chairs weren't repairable. We weren't concerned about them. Dave and Judy said they had some replacement chairs for us! 

When we went out to their van to get the chairs, they were still in boxes! Yes, these sweet people had bought chairs for us. As we unpacked them, Dave asked Garry to come to the van again. This time they brought in the matching table! They are beautiful, made of a light wood that looks like oak. The table barely fits in our dining area, but we aren't complaining! 

We begged for the story, but they told us to give God the glory. It was perfect timing, as I was beginning to doubt that we should be taking another HTC child, doubting that we really knew what God wanted us to do. 

A day to remember. Tomorrow is likely to be another one.

[2021 NOTE: We still have and love that table and chairs, 24 years later!]

Kyung Yeon

 [Here begins a series about Kyung Yeon in 1997.]

1 May 1997

We are foster parents with Healing the Children. This coming Tuesday we will get our second HTC child. She is an 8-year-old Korean who needs heart surgery, and is scheduled to stay two months. I am not much of a babysitter, but Garry and I both have felt this is something we must do. It relates to all those ads one sees of starving children in far-away places, but you wonder how much actually reaches the child if you donate. This way we know that the child is the main beneficiary. 

The last experience was difficult, but also a growing time for our whle family. This time we anticipate being shorter, but perhaps more intense. 

It has been exciting preparing for Kyung-Yeon to arrive. I bought a garage sale bed for her that exactly fit the space we had available in Amanda's room. That led to a connection with a Christian school teacher in nearby Everett, who is having her class prepare a welcome basket for Kyung-Yeon. One of my tasks has been lining up Korean translators (my least favorite task) and God has been faithful to bring several willing women my way. Two go to our church and another one lives here in Arlington. 

Yesterday we went as a family to get teh first of the new hepatitis shot series, protecting ourselves. Afterward we had dinner at the Olive Garden, comforting one another! 

Nicole and Amanda were quite enthusiastic about having another foster sister initially, but now are growing nervous, understandably. Sharing your living space with a stranger is a frightening concept. I anticipate that this girl will be quiet, at least initially. My understanding is that she is lethargic and her hands are turning blue because of the malfunctioning heart. I hope that will give my daughters a chance to get accustomed to her before she is energetic after the surgery! 

"What if" Amanda

 What if my parents moved, the bus was late that day, they got impatient, and left me? 

What if a spider under my bed ate all the bedbugs, grew giant, and ate me? 

What if a really big eagle picked up the car we were in and started flying away with us? 

What if burning your finger meant you would die soon?

What if every time you smiled you had to go potty? 

    --Amanda, age 8

I'm Glad

 I'm glad there's chocolate,

    Fish 'n chips,

Starry skies and onion dips,

    Soft, worn jeans,

    And crispy fries,

Goods-down quilts,

    And butterflies.

I'm glad there's kittens,

    Candleglow,

Sunday comics,

    Fresh white snow,

Daffodils and barbeque,

    But most of all,

I'm glad there's you.