Contemplating the future

Derek is almost four months old. He will be seven months old before most of my family (parents/siblings) get to even meet him. That’s a shame, because he is so fun these days!
He smiles, laughs, holds toys and puts them in his mouth. He looks around and tries to see everything, but Walmart still overwhelms him into a comatose stare that leads to a nap. He knows where I usually sit, and looks for me there, and comments when I’m not there.
When he’s tired, he snuggles his face into my armpit.
Today, he got upset because I buckled him into a baby chair while I made dinner. He looked me in the eyes and howled. I looked him in the eyes and told him, “I do NOT do what you want because you throw a fit! When you are calm, I will get you out of there.” Granted, he doesn’t understand me yet, but a few minutes later he was calm, and reached for me, so I took him out. Hopefully he is learning which behavior gets rewards.
Olivia and Derek make me think about the brevity of life. My birthday is this week, and I’m contemplating how much longer I’m likely to live, barring the unforeseen. Because I have medical insurance, I’ve had every checkup a 50 year old woman is supposed to have in the last few months, and there isn’t anything wrong with me that a little exercise wouldn’t fix. So it’s possible I’ll live to be 90-something, like the grandmother who gave me this body type.
That means Derek could be about 40 when it’s my turn to go. Olivia would be 42. I could possibly meet their kids.
What will my life be like for the next 40 years? Will I live in this house, in this town? Will I finally visit Thailand, and maybe live a year or two there? But then, I would miss so much of the grandkids’ lives. I already miss far too much of Olivia’s. She doesn’t know me at all, doesn’t know how much I love her, because we just live too far away. But as she gets older, she will understand better, gifts and phone conversations will become more meaningful, and visits will be remembered.
The future still holds a lot of love.

Routines

Our little boy is such a creation of routines and signals. He is eight weeks old today, and in those short weeks he has learned so much!

“Sleep, eat and poop” is what many say is all a baby is good for. Those are definitely three of his four routines. He sleeps beautifully, sometimes five hours at a stretch during the night. But generally, he knows that in the evening he gets fed, then has some Grampy time. Sometimes a bath punctuates the evening, and more Grampy time.

Then it’s Grandma time. I get him ready for bed, and we turn down the lights, put on a good nature documentary, and snuggle together for a bedtime snack. There is burping and more snuggling, and then I put him in his crib. Sometimes he is already sound asleep. Other times, he smiles at me and closes his eyes. In any case, he knows it’s bedtime, and all is right with the routine.

But oh, you mess with his evening routine, and he lets you know. Amanda kept him out late one night, and he came back all wound up, not ready for bed until he had Grampy time. One night I went to bed early, and he fussed about not getting Grandma time. And tonight, just as he and I settled into the big armchair, Amanda turned off ALL the lights. He let out such a despairing cry! That’s not the routine! I didn’t get my snack yet! He makes me laugh.

His fourth routine is my favorite: awake time! He giggles and coos and smiles at us. One dimple dots his left cheek. His lips and tongue try to imitate ours as we talk and sing to him. He can lie in his playpen for 45 minutes, looking at the toys and patterns and lights in the room.

All of this will change too soon. He will grow up, sit up, stand, walk, talk. He should. He must. But for today, I just want to cuddle him and enjoy this time and these smiles. They are the best part of my day.

Perfect

Derek Alexander Robert Eugene Symmes was born on 11/10/11 at 6:03 PM. He weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and was 21.25 inches long. His APGAR score was a perfect 10.
Amanda is healing well, but definitely doing the post-partum emotions. Nursing is difficult, but improving slowly. Derek screams, a high, piercing scream, any time he isn't absolutely happy. So we have long, quiet hours, punctuated by sudden wild screaming... and then gas. Or a feeding. Or a diaper change. And sometimes it just takes some walking and bouncing or sitting and rocking to get him calm.
Even with all this, Amanda said last night that this is better than being pregnant and itching intensely. Good perspective!
As for the birth itself... that story needs to wait until I've had some sleep. Short version is that she had over an hour of hard contractions and was NOT pleasant to be around. And then they gave her drugs and an epidural, and the rest was a piece of cake. Seriously, she giggled when they told her it was time to push.
I think he's adorable, but the photos don't seem to show that. Maybe I'm just prejudiced?

39 weeks

Aren't they beautiful together? This really has been a textbook pregnancy. The little glitch here in the last two weeks is called PUPPP, and basically means itchy red bumps all over her belly. The up side is that the doctor won't let her be pregnant more than two more weeks. She is nearly done, one way or the other.

The church ladies gave her a shower. Friends and family have also showered her with love and gifts. Our little Derek is well-provided for! Just today, he got a bathtub in the mail, something we still didn't have! God must love this little guy.

So do I.

2 weeks, or maybe 4, but no more

That's right. Baby due date is just over 2 weeks away, and Amanda's doctor says he never lets a mommy go more than 2 weeks past her due date. That means that in the next 2-4 weeks, there will be major changes in this household.

Sometimes I think I'm too old for this. But the truth is, I'm selfish. I like our patterns and habits, and I recognize that most of them will change. I'll still go to work and come home, but most of life before and after that will be different.

I know little Derek will bring great barrels of joy, but I also know that he will bring a grumpy Amanda for lack of sleep, and less "me" time, and simply all around another person in the house to be concerned about. And other than the grumpy-lack-of-sleep thing, it's all good.

Purity

“How can a young man keep his way pure?” (Psalm 119:9)

For the second time in the six months that our Amanda has been striving to live a godly life, a young man has severely disappointed her – and us. For the second time, a young man has proclaimed himself to be learning to walk with God, desirous of keeping his ways pure, and then turned around and demanded absolute impurity from Amanda. Praise God, she has held to the truth and the way. She has pushed away the men who tried to turn her from the path of righteousness. But how much of this kind of disappointment can a young lady take?

Is it possible for a young man to keep his ways pure?

These two men have told her that it is not possible, in today’s culture, to remain pure. They have insisted that impurity is inevitable. I am thankful that their true hearts were shown before commitment was made, but I am sad for my girl, that she is not finding young men who are keeping their way pure. I continue to pray for that one man, the right one, who will lead her in the paths of righteousness, love her deeply, protect her and guide her and enjoy her. We haven't met him yet.

Is it possible? Yes, it is possible. “By living according to your word.” “By guarding it according to your word.”

The only way for a young man in today’s culture – or ANY culture – to keep his way pure is to immerse himself in God’s Word, and live it. Guard it.
The same goes for a young woman. And for a grandma, too.

Gifts and growing

When people ask me how I like my new house, my answer is, "We're learning to get along." I'm not sure I can explain it any better than that, but I'll try.

The weeds are finally pulled from the yard, at least the 2-foot tall ones. There is some grass seed we are watering in the front. A couple of trees will find residence in the back yard this week. And we are going to cover the icky back deck with a plastic coating.

Inside, we have fewer boxes and more order. And internet access.

But the sweetest blessings lately have been the gifts God is bringing to our daughter, as her love for Him increases. She is discovering things like, "Mom, did you know that if you make time for the Bible every day, you have plenty of time to do everything else?" and "The more I give to God, the more He gives back!" This morning after church, I saw her make a beeline to a new couple, to make sure they were greeted. She knows what it's like to be ignored.

And the blessings have been pouring in. A crib with Mickey Mouse sheets and a mobile. Two high chairs, one with a fancy fish-themed play area attached. Hand-knit and hand-quilted blankets. Twice as many baby boy clothes in size 0-9 months as one boy could possibly wear, enough to give some away to another single mom, along with two of the blankets and some smaller sized maternity clothes.

Then came a rocking chair that exactly matched the red and black theme in Amanda's room. A cash gift that paid off her credit card bill completely. A bassinet with heart-beat and water sounds.

Our Sunday School class has planned a baby shower for her in about a month.


Somebody loves her. I think He loves her a lot.