It's August 1st. We move on Saturday the 8th. Moving truck, cleaning the old place, handing over the keys. I like the old place. The new one is pretty nice, too. It's smaller, with a definite spare room that no one would want to live in but could visit for a few days in. I'm looking forward to the snow that they get and keep most of the winter. I've never lived with that before. I'm not looking forward to finding a new church and job and routine, figuring out where to get the car fixed, where to get haircuts, all that. Can I go to the Sheritan in Tianjin instead? I like that idea.

Mind you, I don't want to live in the smog and traffic and smells and crowds. I don't want to ride trains and taxis. I don't want to struggle to communicate every day.

But I would like to take Chinese classes. I would like to experience the enthusiasm of the Chinese college students. I would like to see Kristen and Renee and Marilyn and Audrey and Geri and Phoebe and a dozen other people any time I want to. I would like to go out for pastries with the ladies. I would like to work in the library. I would like to stop at the Korean restaurant to pick up dinner, or call Sisters or the Pizza Box. I would like my weekly massage and monthly pedicure, cheap. I would like to take my mending pile to a nice lady who won't charge me much for fixing zippers and tears.
I don't want utility bill collectors tromping through my kitchen. I don't want heater-fixing men laying on my bed. I don't want the extreme heat of summer, nor the biting cold of winter. I don't want to miss stars and rainbows and donuts and sweet corn.

But I would like to go to International Day at the school. I would like to go to Beijing at Christmas and Bei Dai He in the fall. I would like to walk through the night market and smell the popcorn and sweet potatoes. I would like to stop and get yang rou chuan (lamb kebabs cooked outside) and then a Magnum ice cream bar from the Best Store.

Can't I just have it all??

Heaven is going to be so good.