The picket fence

Since we moved back from China, three years ago, we have had the Great Debate going on at our house. It ranges from, "Look! A job opening in Nepal!" to "Look! A cute house with a picket fence!" And each spring, we wondered what the next school year was supposed to hold.

Now I have a full-time job I like. So does Garry. Amanda is living with us and working part-time, which is just right for a single-mom-to-be. And yes, there is a little boy on his way to our home in 19 short weeks. So we feel like the answer is pretty clear: stay put.

There is a mourning, a giving up, that happens with any decision you make. You always have to say no to the other thing. That's what we're doing: saying no to living overseas, at least for a few years, and saying yes to the picket fence.


Song of the day:
"What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace!
When He takes me by the hand and leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day, that will be!
There'll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no more pain,
No more parting over there.
But forever I will be with the One who died for me,
What a day, glorious day, that will be!"
--James Hill (1955)

Every fall, I miss BeiDaiHe.

As soon as the weather starts to get just a little cooler, rather than thoughts of leaves changing colors or pumpkins, my mind turns to BeiDaiHe. Literally, that means North Dai River and is pronounced "Bay-Die-Huh." It's a little resort town on the northern China coast.

We used to go there every fall with our team. The first year, I was amazed that there was such a place in China, where the skies were blue and the air fresh and they had TREES! The contrast to our home city was such that I fell in love with BeiDaiHe. If I had been living in Oregon or Washington at the time, then it wouldn't have made such an impression on me, I'm sure.

The accommodations were just average. The beds were hard, the toilet leaked, and the hot water was only turned on for a couple hours each morning and evening. But there was this amazing porch overlooking a restaurant and the ocean, and we could sit out there and play cards or read. And the beach came with cheap seats and umbrellas, and lovely, warm, soft sand. AND it was a private beach, so it wasn't crowded.

The food was good, too. We ate tons of shrimp and french fries for lunch and dinner, and egg and tomato with bing (like a burrito) for breakfast. We took walks to the nearby wholesale shopping mall and bought cheap pearls.

But the very best part was the team. Going on vacation with your team is a wonderful way to really get to know people. We had meetings and singing and team-building exercises (ok, so those weren't my fave, but they were fun anyway). There was a baptism in the ocean. It wasn't all perfect, but it was good. Really good.

The team is really what made the entire China experience bearable. I can't imagine being there alone, like so many of the early pioneers were. But even Eric Liddell sent his family to BeiDaiHe in the summer, to escape the oppressive heat of Tianjin! So we were in good company.

Sadly, I hear the team isn't going this year. What a shame.

It's August 1st. We move on Saturday the 8th. Moving truck, cleaning the old place, handing over the keys. I like the old place. The new one is pretty nice, too. It's smaller, with a definite spare room that no one would want to live in but could visit for a few days in. I'm looking forward to the snow that they get and keep most of the winter. I've never lived with that before. I'm not looking forward to finding a new church and job and routine, figuring out where to get the car fixed, where to get haircuts, all that. Can I go to the Sheritan in Tianjin instead? I like that idea.

Mind you, I don't want to live in the smog and traffic and smells and crowds. I don't want to ride trains and taxis. I don't want to struggle to communicate every day.

But I would like to take Chinese classes. I would like to experience the enthusiasm of the Chinese college students. I would like to see Kristen and Renee and Marilyn and Audrey and Geri and Phoebe and a dozen other people any time I want to. I would like to go out for pastries with the ladies. I would like to work in the library. I would like to stop at the Korean restaurant to pick up dinner, or call Sisters or the Pizza Box. I would like my weekly massage and monthly pedicure, cheap. I would like to take my mending pile to a nice lady who won't charge me much for fixing zippers and tears.
I don't want utility bill collectors tromping through my kitchen. I don't want heater-fixing men laying on my bed. I don't want the extreme heat of summer, nor the biting cold of winter. I don't want to miss stars and rainbows and donuts and sweet corn.

But I would like to go to International Day at the school. I would like to go to Beijing at Christmas and Bei Dai He in the fall. I would like to walk through the night market and smell the popcorn and sweet potatoes. I would like to stop and get yang rou chuan (lamb kebabs cooked outside) and then a Magnum ice cream bar from the Best Store.

Can't I just have it all??

Heaven is going to be so good.

Moving

I used to think I would have made a good military wife. For a while I even encouraged Garry to go full time in the military, so we could travel around every few years. Now I'm glad he didn't.

We're moving again. It's been almost a year since we moved to our sweet little duplex, and I'm on the internet searching for a new place. Prices are good in Klamath Falls, where we are going, but we got such a great home here, I'm not sure how the next one can measure up.

I kind of wish we had moved from Tianjin to Klamath Falls, and THEN to Roseburg. Roseburg is so green and beautiful, the weather so mild, and our home so nice, that it would have made a good final destination. Klamath Falls is more brown and bare. But they do get snow, and I like snow. And God will point us to just the right home, hopefully next Friday when we go looking for it.

It's going to be OK. And it may or may not be the final destination. We'll see.

Pick up Lamb

Today, my To Do list includes, "Pick up lamb." This does NOT mean that there will be a fuzzy little creature bouncing around my yard. What it means is that there will be little white packages in my freezer.

When we first came back from China, we lived with Garry's sister, and there were sheep in the pasture right outside our bedroom window. They were so cute! I liked hearing them rustle around and call out to one another.

Garry spent most of last weekend helping his nephew slaughter the sheep. I am just too sensitive about these things. How could I have survived if I'd been born a hundred years or more earlier? Surely there were women like me back then, who cringed every time a lamb was slaughtered.

I'm not a vegetarian. I like to have meat with our evening meals. And during our years in China, I grew to really like lamb, too. It was cheap, and came in these funny packages, thinly sliced and rolled into tubes and frozen. It was easy to take those tubes and chop them into something that could go into spaghetti sauce. Nicole hated it when I used lamb in the spaghetti sauce. The nicest thing about it was that I only had to walk to the corner store to get some, so if I hadn't planned dinner for that day or didn't want to brave the meat market, I could get this plastic-wrapped meat that didn't resemble any animal. That's how I came to think of lamb.

But today, I'm going to pick up lamb. There is something Old Testament and priestly and bloody about knowing it was slaughtered just for my family.

I'm thankful for the blood of Jesus that paid my way so I don't have to endure those sacrifices every time I sin.

I don't live in China anymore

This morning it struck me yet again: I don't live in China anymore.

We've been home for the summer before, but for the last four summers it was always with the knowledge that we were going back. This time it's wierd. We're settling in, changing our address, and not going back. Not going back to the friendships and shopping in the open markets. Not going back to the Mandarin roar constantly flowing around us. Not going back to the persistent honking and voices and city sounds. Not going back.

China is starting to seem very surreal, since life here is so vastly different. In past summers, knowing we were going back kept it at the forefront, plus people were always asking us questions about it. Now the questions are almost all about our future, not our past, so the whole experience is starting to fade. I don't like that.

Garry is fully ensconsed in his job and loving it, and Amanda and I are left job and house-hunting. The housing market here is bulging at the seams but we haven't found just the right place yet. The job market is completely depressed, and finding even a WalMart or McDonalds job is next to impossible, much less a nice receptionist or librarian job. So, we wait for Father's timing in all things.

I am reminded (yet again) that life is full of hard things about every phase you are in, no matter what continent you live on. I guess that's part of what keeps us focused on our true future.

Christmas Banquet

This morning was the school's Christmas bazaar and the high school Christmas banquet was tonight. It was at the Sheraton, but our "room" was a huge tent out back! Actually, it was much nicer than it sounds, with carpet and little white lights in a draped ceiling. But it snowed this morning and the cold wind blew in today. It was the first real day of winter temperatures, the kind that make your knees hurt when you walk. So they had heaters all over the place trying to keep that tent warm. At one point we blew a breaker, and after that the lights were dimmed and we ate by candlelight but had heat. It was actually pretty nice. And the decorations were very well done. Most of the entertainment was Christmas related, so it helped bring the holiday in. I've been a little depressed this week, and this helped lift my spirits. Singing Silent Night and hearing The Innkeeper by John Piper read aloud were nice moments, and seeing three teen boys lip-sync the Chipmunks Christmas was fun. The theme was masquerade, so we all wore masks and elegant clothing. We draw stares in everyday clothing.

Today was a lovely way to bring the season home.